youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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