More tranny stories later!
You can't motorboat a personality
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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