You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They should really pass out barf bags in church
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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