If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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