I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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