Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize