If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize