she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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