I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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