Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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