my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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