i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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