Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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