she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my life...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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