i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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