Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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