Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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