so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize