bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize