the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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