Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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