Soap is not a condiment
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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