omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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