honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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