Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize