You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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