Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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