Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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