I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize