Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

You don't understand. I'm not like you.

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(609): Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count (1-609): You don't understand. I'm not like you. http://tfl.nu/ja4i

Replies (25) Good night (2359) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

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(757): this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial http://tfl.nu/3bm0

Replies (11) Good night (571) Bad night (3721) Order T-Shirt
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(641): View more from Iowa

Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?

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(641): Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart? http://tfl.nu/xjrc

Replies (23) Good night (3163) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I hate the hobo that sits outside our building

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Joe or Chris?

(314): View more from Missouri

do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.

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(314): I hate the hobo that sits outside our building (1-314): Joe or Chris? (314): do i even wanna kno y u kno their names? (1-314): well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye. http://tfl.nu/9vla

Replies (17) Good night (8040) Bad night (991)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

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(860): I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits http://tfl.nu/yqhn

Replies (15) Good night (881) Bad night (3913) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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(910): It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did http://tfl.nu/v7hu

Replies (11) Good night (773) Bad night (1400) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.

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(937): No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/4p3o

Replies (5) Good night (747) Bad night (1507) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(609): Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people. http://tfl.nu/gli6

Replies (11) Good night (3165) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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(757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o

Replies (14) Good night (3671) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.

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(714): She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/8m40

Replies (4) Good night (1534) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank

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(775): Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers. (1-775): Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank http://tfl.nu/28ka

Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (376)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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(832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4

Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed

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(717): so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed http://tfl.nu/ot6x

Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.

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(317): I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe. http://tfl.nu/1bo6

Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (215)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm drunk at 3:28

(816): View more from Missouri

I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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(913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv

Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (145)

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