I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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