some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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