He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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