So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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