She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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