I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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