would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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