i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have aggressive nipples.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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