Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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