You're my little dorito
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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