so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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