Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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