If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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