That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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