I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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