I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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