i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize