11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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