swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
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She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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