I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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